Not really taxes, but I’ve had a couple of things on my mind lately. There have been multiple deaths in my family since 1999. The US economy has changed over the last 5 years, and prices have gone sky high, but I am not so sure that we are spending much more than previously on things like groceries. I keep meticulous financial records, have for many years, and I was going to figure out the averages for certain expenses for the last few years. But that would require that I search my DayTimer files. I will do it sometime soon.
In 1999, my Aunt Mary died. She was 86, and had been in a nursing home for two years. She entered that home after breaking her hip, because my uncle could no longer care for her. But he spent every day visiting her, and sometimes took her for a ride. She also had dementia. I was able to visit often, because the nursing home wasn’t more than a mile away. Her experience there was good, and I think that is because she always had visitors making sure that she was well-cared for.
In 2000, my Aunt Isabelle died. She was my favorite aunt, and her illness was brief, lasting only a month. We had always written letters to each other, and did so at the end, as well as talking on the phone. She died at the age of 80.
In 2004, my cousin Roger died, at the age of 55. He was a teenager when I was a little kid, and we were pretty close. I only found out about his death by accident, because my mother and his father didn’t bother to tell me, even though they lived in the same town. I found out from another cousin. When we were kids, I used to pretend he was the Master, and I was Genie, from
I Dream of Genie. He died of arterioschlerosis, because he did not get the medical care he needed. His father, who is 91, had bypass surgery when in his 80’s, and is in good shape for his age.
In 2007, my mother died. This was after a couple of very bad years, partly because of dementia. Her death process was horrible, and I was by her side during her last month. We had never gotten along, she had disinherited me, and the only reason I could be with her was because she didn’t have her faculties. Had I not been there, she’d have been alone. The repercussions of her actions and her death are not yet resolved. And that is very difficult.
In March of 2008, exactly six months after my mother died, my cousin Norman died. Like his brother Roger, he died of arterioschlerosis. My uncle called and gave me the news. Norman had been on his way to Trader Joe’s, in another town, and crashed his Honda Pilot. He and my mother had been close. He lived in her house for awhile, when she had gone away for the summer. I can’t help but wonder if his death was related to hers. He died at the age of 65. I think he could have gotten the medical care he needed if he had been willing to get it. Maybe. His unwillingness to seek care was related to the fact that today’s medical profession is more of a marketing profession. Providers are more willing to sell the newest prescription drug, whether or not it is related to the patient’s condition. Still, he might have had the good luck to get a doctor with integrity.
These deaths are a part of what I am dealing with these days. I do pretty well, but am constantly in search of understanding.